Most people go into haunt auditions knowing what kind of role they want. “I want to be the lead in cue line.” “I want to be a sexy vampire.” “I just want to sit there and say nothing because my face is scary enough on its own and speaking frightens me.” It’s completely normal to have expectations for the upcoming season, but sometimes things don’t go exactly as planned. This exact thing happened to me this past haunt season. I prepared for months to play a specific role. I thought I had it in the bag. Then, I was given a role that, in all honesty, I disliked with the greatest of passions.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I was thrilled to receive any part AND my stage manager did give me the option to speak my mind on what kind of role I really wanted (which was super nice of him since he didn’t have to do that), but I knew with every fiber of my being that...well...how about I just tell you the story instead of beating around the bush?
At Ravenwood Manor, there are certain characters that are there every year. One of them, the role I had my eye on since acting there was barely a thought, was the enchantress, Madam Azalea. I had tried my hardest to lose weight, I worked on accents and voices to use for her, I even wrote a monologue just for her. I felt like I did my best to prove that I could pull off sexy, dangerous, and powerful. Plus, her scene is one of the coolest at Ravenwood (my favorite set design by far!). I went into my audition and I felt like I put more emotion into that monologue than anything I ever performed in my life, because I wanted this part SO bad. (I’m pretty sure I would’ve offered a blood sacrifice to my stage manager then and there if it guaranteed the role.)
After I finished my audition, Cain and Blake (my stage manager and boss) had a moment to kind of talk and then they spoke to me. “Jaz, we know you really want this part and you did a phenomenal job with the writing. You could definitely play this role, hands down. But we are in a tough spot. We just got a message about half an hour ago from the girl who we had to play Miss Kofsky. She won't be able to come back this year. We've been racking our brains this entire time trying to figure out how to recast the role. Cain might even have to play the part. ...would you be willing to read a few lines for the role?"
Now, Miss Kofsky is a character I've heard about in passing, but never really had a chance to witness for myself. She was the "Nanny character" to one of the children roles at Ravenwood. All I knew about Miss Kofsky was that she was suppose to be a fat, ugly, mean Russian who nobody liked and her ugliness was the running joke of her character. Definitely NOT the sexy enchantress role I was hoping for. So, in that moment, I could feel my heart sink. There were so many things going through my mind. First, I'd never seen this part. So, there was no way I would do it justice. Second, is this a joke? I worked so hard to be tossed into a role known for how ugly the character was? Were they trying to destroy what little confidence I had? But, lastly, I thought...I have to do what's best for the haunt. (You know how the main character of a TV show has that mantra they say before they save the day? "You do what's best for the haunt," is mine.)
So, after a second of going through all these thoughts and seeing the desperate look on poor Cain's face, I knew I had to do it. So, he gave me a few lines. I regurgitated them back to him. They exchanged a look. Gave me a few more lines. Regurgitate. Then they asked me to improv as if Blake was a customer. And, if I'm being honest here, I suck at improv. Like, I FAILED that portion of my acting classes in college, but because I knew Blake so well, I had plenty of ammunition. After I did that, they exchanged looks again, whispered to each other, then looked at me.
I knew. I knew I was going to get the role of the fat, ugly, comic relief, and I'm sure they could see it on my face. As much as I wanted to play something...ANYTHING else, I knew that the haunt needed this more than I did. So, when Cain pulled me aside and really looked me in the eyes and asked me what I wanted....all I could say was, "what's best for the haunt," when in my head I was kicking and screaming for the role I originally wanted.
Whenever people asked who I was playing that year, I would mumble it under my breath. My first day in makeup, I cried when I saw how I looked. When I got into my scene, it tore me up inside that everyone else got to play these fun, crazy, high energy characters while I had to stay calm and collected in my head, because I had to come up with witty come backs all night, which was a huge struggle for me. For a while, I was miserable. I'd make jokes to soften the blow of how bad I was actually feeling. I honestly think the worst part was when people recognized me in public as "the ugly lady from that haunted house." ...."the ugly lady." (And HOW could they tell it was me when I was supposedly supposed to be covered by a ton of makeup?) Yep...totally felt like middle school all over again, but I was being paid to be called ugly this time. So, I guess that was a step up.
About halfway thought the season, after getting used to my character, I began to have fun with it. It started small, making jokes and ripping Cain a new one with my smart ass remarks when he came in my scene for his nightly walk throughs. Then, the library was open when I began reading the owners of the haunt to death. It was a strange feeling, being able to take out my stress and pettiness on the people in charge of me with no repercussions. The icing on the cake, though, was the first night I was hunted down for a picture. Someone liked what I was doing so much that they begged for a picture...with me! Not Cain. Not any of the main roles. Not the bosses. ME!
After that, I tried to stop being so hard on Miss Kofsky. I would quote her outside of the haunt. I would proudly mention her whenever Ravenwood came up in conversation. I even created a massive backstory with her and Cain's character, Eddie (who you will DEFINITELY hear about eventually). The Kofsky love was really starting to show as the season went on. Of course, I would still claim, "I hate the character. I want a recast next year. If I have to make another joke about Russians and "beating ze bad kiddies," then someone just kill me now!" But Miss Kofsky became such a crowd favorite and she also became one of my favorites. (Don't tell anyone I said that.) She's probably the funniest character I've ever played who can get away with saying some of the craziest and meanest shit, which is super liberating.
But that's the strange thing about acting. When it starts, you're given a role and a handful of lines; a backbone to the character. You don't have to like the character. You don't have to love the character. All you have to do is play the character. It's up to you if you want to play it like it's a boring chore and you can't wait for it to be over, or if you give your character life, create something that'll inspire you to perform in a way you could've never imagined before, and make that character (and yourself) shine. Even though I still have a love/hate relationship with Miss Kofsky, I've grown to embrace her. If I have to play her again next year, I’ll do so, happily, and make her a hundred times better than last year. I've given her quirks. I've given her depth. She has a story and a life that would've never existed if I kept the "I hate this stupid role" attitude. I learned so much from playing her (and now, Cain has created a monster who always wears her reading glasses, for the library never closes). I can now say that I'm completely confident in my improv skills and I know I can add comedic roles and Russian accents to my acting resume.
What happened last season was the definition of "growing into your role." With my impressive 20/20 hindsight, I know there were moments I missed out on awesome acting opportunities with Miss Kofsky, because I was too busy sailing on the pity boat. I hope that you learn something from that. I hope, dear reader, that you can embrace any role you may get in your future in haunt. I hope you aren't as stubborn as me. Trust your stage managers. Looking back, I know mine wouldn't have let me near that scene unless he knew I could pull it off (even if I didn't believe it just then). Never get discouraged if you don't get the role you originally wanted. Turns out, the girl who ended up with the enchantress role pulled it off a million times better than I ever could. (Girl, you killed it this year with yo' sexy self!) There will always be more haunt seasons. There will be multiple chances to get the role you want. There's always time, but the time you have with your character in that year and in that moment....you won't get that time back.
Let's get a conversation going! Have you ever had to grow into a role you didn't really want? Did something in this post confuse you? Do you have any questions or comments? Let me know in the comment section below!
-Jaz☾
Now, Miss Kofsky is a character I've heard about in passing, but never really had a chance to witness for myself. She was the "Nanny character" to one of the children roles at Ravenwood. All I knew about Miss Kofsky was that she was suppose to be a fat, ugly, mean Russian who nobody liked and her ugliness was the running joke of her character. Definitely NOT the sexy enchantress role I was hoping for. So, in that moment, I could feel my heart sink. There were so many things going through my mind. First, I'd never seen this part. So, there was no way I would do it justice. Second, is this a joke? I worked so hard to be tossed into a role known for how ugly the character was? Were they trying to destroy what little confidence I had? But, lastly, I thought...I have to do what's best for the haunt. (You know how the main character of a TV show has that mantra they say before they save the day? "You do what's best for the haunt," is mine.)
So, after a second of going through all these thoughts and seeing the desperate look on poor Cain's face, I knew I had to do it. So, he gave me a few lines. I regurgitated them back to him. They exchanged a look. Gave me a few more lines. Regurgitate. Then they asked me to improv as if Blake was a customer. And, if I'm being honest here, I suck at improv. Like, I FAILED that portion of my acting classes in college, but because I knew Blake so well, I had plenty of ammunition. After I did that, they exchanged looks again, whispered to each other, then looked at me.
I knew. I knew I was going to get the role of the fat, ugly, comic relief, and I'm sure they could see it on my face. As much as I wanted to play something...ANYTHING else, I knew that the haunt needed this more than I did. So, when Cain pulled me aside and really looked me in the eyes and asked me what I wanted....all I could say was, "what's best for the haunt," when in my head I was kicking and screaming for the role I originally wanted.
Whenever people asked who I was playing that year, I would mumble it under my breath. My first day in makeup, I cried when I saw how I looked. When I got into my scene, it tore me up inside that everyone else got to play these fun, crazy, high energy characters while I had to stay calm and collected in my head, because I had to come up with witty come backs all night, which was a huge struggle for me. For a while, I was miserable. I'd make jokes to soften the blow of how bad I was actually feeling. I honestly think the worst part was when people recognized me in public as "the ugly lady from that haunted house." ...."the ugly lady." (And HOW could they tell it was me when I was supposedly supposed to be covered by a ton of makeup?) Yep...totally felt like middle school all over again, but I was being paid to be called ugly this time. So, I guess that was a step up.
About halfway thought the season, after getting used to my character, I began to have fun with it. It started small, making jokes and ripping Cain a new one with my smart ass remarks when he came in my scene for his nightly walk throughs. Then, the library was open when I began reading the owners of the haunt to death. It was a strange feeling, being able to take out my stress and pettiness on the people in charge of me with no repercussions. The icing on the cake, though, was the first night I was hunted down for a picture. Someone liked what I was doing so much that they begged for a picture...with me! Not Cain. Not any of the main roles. Not the bosses. ME!
After that, I tried to stop being so hard on Miss Kofsky. I would quote her outside of the haunt. I would proudly mention her whenever Ravenwood came up in conversation. I even created a massive backstory with her and Cain's character, Eddie (who you will DEFINITELY hear about eventually). The Kofsky love was really starting to show as the season went on. Of course, I would still claim, "I hate the character. I want a recast next year. If I have to make another joke about Russians and "beating ze bad kiddies," then someone just kill me now!" But Miss Kofsky became such a crowd favorite and she also became one of my favorites. (Don't tell anyone I said that.) She's probably the funniest character I've ever played who can get away with saying some of the craziest and meanest shit, which is super liberating.
But that's the strange thing about acting. When it starts, you're given a role and a handful of lines; a backbone to the character. You don't have to like the character. You don't have to love the character. All you have to do is play the character. It's up to you if you want to play it like it's a boring chore and you can't wait for it to be over, or if you give your character life, create something that'll inspire you to perform in a way you could've never imagined before, and make that character (and yourself) shine. Even though I still have a love/hate relationship with Miss Kofsky, I've grown to embrace her. If I have to play her again next year, I’ll do so, happily, and make her a hundred times better than last year. I've given her quirks. I've given her depth. She has a story and a life that would've never existed if I kept the "I hate this stupid role" attitude. I learned so much from playing her (and now, Cain has created a monster who always wears her reading glasses, for the library never closes). I can now say that I'm completely confident in my improv skills and I know I can add comedic roles and Russian accents to my acting resume.
What happened last season was the definition of "growing into your role." With my impressive 20/20 hindsight, I know there were moments I missed out on awesome acting opportunities with Miss Kofsky, because I was too busy sailing on the pity boat. I hope that you learn something from that. I hope, dear reader, that you can embrace any role you may get in your future in haunt. I hope you aren't as stubborn as me. Trust your stage managers. Looking back, I know mine wouldn't have let me near that scene unless he knew I could pull it off (even if I didn't believe it just then). Never get discouraged if you don't get the role you originally wanted. Turns out, the girl who ended up with the enchantress role pulled it off a million times better than I ever could. (Girl, you killed it this year with yo' sexy self!) There will always be more haunt seasons. There will be multiple chances to get the role you want. There's always time, but the time you have with your character in that year and in that moment....you won't get that time back.
Let's get a conversation going! Have you ever had to grow into a role you didn't really want? Did something in this post confuse you? Do you have any questions or comments? Let me know in the comment section below!
-Jaz☾
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